Monday, May 31, 2004
Elisabeth Bumiller Rides Again
Allow me to present, in a somewhat condensed form, Elisabeth Bumiller's White House Letter for Monday, 31 May 2004.
Taking the High Road, the Low Road and Maybe a Boulder or TwoArticle via Pandagon.
John Kerry rides a wimpy road bike, while the ever masculine George W. Bush rides an off-road mountain bike.
Not only does John Kerry ride a road bike but he rides an expensive road bike which was made by a possible Democrat! Mr. Kerry also has "mountain bikes for the trails near his home in Ketchum, Idaho." Pardon me, in case you missed my point, Mr. Kerry bikes near his expensive vacation home. But what is clear, is that Mr. Kerry likes expensive things.
However, the rough-hewn George W. Bush rides a less expensive bike and sometimes rides an "ordinary $250" bike. Mr Bush uses a bike made by "a member of the President's Council on Physical Fitness" who also "...sponsored athlete is Lance Armstrong, the five-time Tour de France winner from Austin, Tex...." He is, as a result, more manly.
John Kerry exhibits poor bike sportsmanship. My example is a supposed quipped about Mr. Bush's spill, "Did the training wheels fall off?" This quip is attributed to Mr. Kerry and can be found on The Drudge Report. It may not be accurate, but I'm going to pass it along as fact anyway because it shows that Mr. Kerry is a bad sport.
Moreover, Mr. Kerry was scolded by "Chicago's Democratic mayor, Richard M. Daley" who knows a thing or two about bike accidents himself having been in one a few years ago.
By the way, "the Republican National Committee then seized on Mr. Daley's remarks and sent them out as an attack e-mail under the headline 'They said it!" I don't offically work for the RNC, but I'll be more than happy to pass these things along when they come up.
George W. Bush on the other hand, didn't say anything when Mr. Kerry had a spill of his own. I know this because there was nothing on the Drudge Report about it.
George W. Bush, rough-hewn in-shape fellow that he is, typically mountain-bikes, which we know is harder than the type of biking Mr. Kerry does, 15 to 20 miles. He takes "hour or an hour and a half at a time" out of his busy schedule to do this. Mr. Bush is so good at this that Secret Service agents struggle to keep up!
John Kerry on the other hand "...has covered up to 100 miles a day on his road bike in some charity rides." Occasionally. Mr. Kerry doesn't even ride all the time, he only rides in high-falootin' charity rides. Still, he's fit for a 60 year-old, but Mr. Bush, at a spry 57, leaves the Secret Service agent's "complaining of sore muscles" after his workouts.
In case you missed my none to subtle hints, mountain biking, the exercise of the common man and Mr. Bush's robust bike exercise of choice, is harder than road biking. Road biking, is of course, Mr. Kerry's wimpy, aristocratic bike exercise of choice.
In fact according to Stephen Madden, the editor of Bicycling and Mountain Bike magazines, [m]ountain biking involves a lot of up and down, and it also can involve a lot of technical expertise in jumping logs and rocks."
What Drivel. How can the New York Times print this stuff?
What liberal media was that again?